If it wasn’t important, I wouldn’t miss it so much

Sadness is a daily reality. Sometimes it’s godawful overwhelming, and sometimes it’s a tinge that flavors life.

It’s a season of loss for me. Loss of my baby — the Old Man Baby Cat, my orange floof of love. Loss of certain experiences, gathering in person with friends and getting hugs, drumming together, high-fiving coworkers.

I’ve been very fortunate to be able to stay home at this time, our effort to keep not only ourselves safe but to prevent being carriers of the Covid-19 coronavirus to others. We’ve been home since March 15, ironically an anniversary day of ours so it’s easier to remember.

It’s now May.

In that time we have left our neighborhood once, for a medical need, and otherwise have been finding our patterns and working on our physical, emotional, and mental health from home. Trying to be of help to others from a distance, as well, but…it’s a time of sadness, which can make it harder to help.

Grief and mourning are never far from my heart these days. I think about loss a lot. I try to think about how to handle it, how to prepare for the upcoming days this month that I know are going to be in that overwhelming hurt category. I’m never very far from crying or tearing up.

But there is also still good. As the Eleventh Doctor said, Life is a pile of good things and bad. Neither one makes the other invalid. Just right now the good things keep having that taste of bittersweet.

Seeing friends via video chats (and learning tips on how to deal with that unique stressor factor…seeing oneself or constantly being aware of what you look like is awkward at best) is a wonderful time. And oddly sad.

But the sad doesn’t negate the glad.

It’s a mix.

And I will take the mix and having the good reminders and sweet times with friends over complete isolation or just bad.

But I guess I’m trying to say, I also need to sit with the sadness. Let it be there. It is present. I acknowledge it.

Somehow that makes it hurt just a little less.

I accept it. It is my companion. It’s not really there for my harm. It shows me what I value and what is dear to me.

That actually shows me something good about myself.

 

 

May is National Mental Health Month. This article from The Guardian has some insights, tips, and links to resources for dealing with mental health needs during this time of physical distancing, including a link to the Crisis Text Line (at https://www.crisistextline.org/). Please know you are not alone.

NaNoDeTickle-Aware-What? Or: November is a big month.

Every November thousands of people worldwide isolate and pound furiously away on their keyboards or scribble like mad in notebooks with one ambitious goal in mind: Write a novel in one month. #NaNoWriMo.

There are variations on the theme and gatherings and cheering and caffeine, but the basic idea is to hit the word count of 50,000 in thirty days.

I’ve participated before, and I’ve won before by making that goal, but I’ve never done it with DeTickles challenging my nervous-writer munchies habit (mmmm, Pop Tarts), or my old man trying to sit on my laptop and interrupting, or just even being married and living normal life with my spouse before.

I also have zero plan, character, outline, goal, or anything going into this. I’ve never been so unprepared.

But wait! There’s more!

November is also National Diabetes Awareness Month. #NDAM. And while I’m sure a lot of people are aware there is an insulin-problem that thousands manage on a daily basis, there’s often just enough misinformation out there to make it a punch line and not always a serious consideration.

Which is why last year, at five-months-new to the world of the broken pancreas, I used my social media to offer a Q&A all month long about this thing I now call DeTickles. I offered some freebie tidbits, facts, and details and answered questions as I was able (such as: does your pancreas do anything at all now? Short answer: Actually yes. Though mine no longer makes insulin, it does still perform other necessary functions. Yay!).

This year I’m offering the same idea, ask me questions, nothing is taboo if you’re respectful, but I’m also putting a different spin on it, inspired by an idea from an out of town friend. I plan to break down my response from questions into simple, visual answers as comics. (Uh, don’t expect much from the art though.)

So ask me what you want to know. Use the form on my blog, reply on my Facebook post, or tweet at me, and I will answer and draw as best as I can!

 

Happy November! And don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten Thanksgiving! Noms and love.

Support

When something affects your life no joke 24/7/365+ it’s important to allow others to support and help you.

I’m fortunate to have the most understanding sweetheart and wonderful friends and family who listen and learn and more.

I can’t tell you how many times in the last year and few months I’ve sent frustrated texts or made bad jokes or just broke down crying about DeTickles. And every time, without fail, they have been amazing, listened, offered to get me things if I’m low, and asked questions or offered suggestions when needed.

It’s good to have a group of support from others living the same thing, with their own take on it. The Beyond Type 1 group is one of the first places I found when looking online.

And its good to have support and help from a counselor who understands and specializes in helping those with DeTickles. I don’t have to explain the lingo and taking care of a finger check or eating isn’t ever a problem in a session. I don’t have to feel self-concious or embarrassed when I’m struggling with something about DeTickles. She knows the daily needs and helps me learn these recent changes in my body so I can understand and feel if my blood glucose is not where it needs to be. Add on handling the other stresses of life, and I can’t recommend counseling enough.

And then, there are times when DeTickles just needs to shift to the back burner. It’s fun time. Like my bachelorette party, or going to the zoo, or staying in to make apple cider and drawing while it cooks, or shopping for cute clothes and things, or watching movies either out or at a friend’s house, and my friends are there.

I don’t have to do this alone. While I’m responsible for my daily and hourly care, I know my loved ones always have my back. It’s a tremendous emotional help to have that support and love.