January

In January I:

– Reduced facebook use by 95-ish%. Still using Messenger to chat with friends and checking in from time to time mostly for Taiko things, and sent love on a couple friend posts that I saw along the way…that’s pretty much it. I enjoyed the reduction and adjustment of my use of the app (which I no longer have) & website. Expect this to continue. Feel free to send me direct messages, I will have notifications for those, but don’t expect me to see most if any of your posts. It’s really not you, it’s me (and the fb algorithms, am I right?), and it’s my stewardship of my time and resilience for my mental and emotional health ( ‘s and ‘s are good things, but I crave more direct communication and more in-depth conversation) and how easily I weaken all of those to “scrolling.”

– Spoke on a panel about living with chronic illness! It was a year+ in the making and turned out to be a great evening! And it counted as work time, so I guess there’s a good sign that I’m in the right place, doing work that is important to me. (Video is up on the library’s Human Story youtube playlist [formerly known as Human Library] at https://youtu.be/LG6RpnP3Re8 .)

– Speaking of work, I have gotten behind, I have caught up, and am trying to catch up again/still. Not much to say here on the matter except library happenings are BUSY right now, and, if I am likewise behind on personal messages, texts, and/or calls, this is quite possibly a large part why, BUT know that I will be working to catch up and keep up with friends and family too. Y’all important. And also, if it takes me longer to get back than you think it should, please send me a ten second, “Hey, did you get that?” I’ll do my best to let NOTHING slip through the cracks, and I often go back and check (I do sometimes struggle with memory problems that bother the hekkin out of me, so I try to take preventative and countermeasure steps to compensate)…but there might be cracks I miss anyway despite my efforts. Please know I do want to talk with you, and I do want to respond to questions/messages you send, and yes, I do want to hang out in person when possible.

– Read/finished 2 books and have more in active progress! This hasn’t happened in what seems like a long time. I have struggled to find or take time to sit and read, rarely allowing myself permission to “do nothing” even though I know reading isn’t nothing and I have enjoyed it for so much of my life. I’m getting back into reading, I’m thinking of picking up writing fiction again, I have some blog posts in mind to work on and share, and I’m trying books to expand my view and understanding of the world and loving them. Fiction, nonfiction. If you want to know what I’m reading, just ask, and I may keep up my list on Goodreads (though I don’t use it for chatting and I’m not great at writing detailed reviews).

– Am still missing Tuffy every single day, yes. Healing is happening and I’m not crippled every time I think about how he’s not here anymore. And if you want to talk about him, I’m all for it; he was and frankly still is my baby after all. I’ll let you know if I’m not able to at the time, but if so, another day will be an option. Some days are still harder than others. Some days have more/larger forks stuck in me and I can’t handle even one more very well. And some days I very much want to talk about him. I love him to this day and he has made my life richer even now because he was here, and that will never, ever change.

– Continued taiko drumming, and it’s even how I started my new year. Best start ever. There was a brief time that I didn’t enjoy it, but, see one paragraph above as honestly I didn’t enjoy most anything for a while, or enjoyment was greatly dropped from normal. But I kept with it, and I couldn’t ask for a better taiko family who understand, support, laugh and tease, and let me beat those beautiful drums and scream my head off as I please, somehow still making music and joyful rhythm. Some serious therapy there. (And also, as always, I do recommend appropriate professional counseling/therapists as available. It’s good medicine, even if there are no prescriptions.) At this time, I see no reason to stop taiko, and I love it, so I shall be there…as soon as I make my way through traffic.

– Started journaling. Tied closest to the next paragraph below, I’m allowing myself a freedom I have *never* felt with journaling before. I picked it up as a form of self care, remembering how it helped as I slowed down and set daily intentions when I used the Diabetic Health Journal (which I do recommend to fellow T1Ds, and there might be a version out now for T2’s).

– Practiced yoga for 30 days in a row without missing once! It was hard, it was challenging, it has been so helpful. I can tell I am already mentally, emotionally, and physically stronger (and yes, a touch more flexible already, too, hello toes!), and it helps with stabilizing my blood glucose swings. Not perfect, it’s practice. I am comfortable and confident now to say, yes, I am a yogi. I am planning to continue daily practice, and have already begun for February.

So.
Off to it.